Sunday, June 22, 2008

God in my hurting, God in my healing.

So last week I went to Blue Ridge Leaders School, one of the my favorite places ever. I've been going since the young age of 13 and have had a really awesome, changing experience each year. This year was no different.
Coming for my 8th year, it was a little rough at first - a lot of my friends from years past did not get to come back, so I felt a little weird about it all. I guess I didn't feel as comfortable, especially with the people I know being gone/busy with leader stuff. However, Jesus changed my attitude about it and made me a happier camper, literally. :) From the point at which my mindset changed, Blue Ridge began to feel a lot like it had in years past, so that was really great.
I guess a couple of the things that struck me about BRLS this year:
-A lot of what I go through, I take for granted. It is really a shame too, because I can definitely look back on a lot of experiences and say that I wish I had taken a lot more from them than I had.
-I have been learning a lot about the opportunities God has been placing in front of me - BRLS was no different. It was something God wanted me to take full advantage of to shine for and exalt Him in my actions. He provides me with so much daily and has given me so much in the past (HIS SON!), so it only seems reasonable that I give him my all/best. So hopefully, I can really bring this home to Atlanta.
-The two devotions, the virtue and faith ones, were so heart-felt to me and I am really praying that it touched others as it did me. I am really excited that BRLS is becoming more Christ-centered (at least it is something that I have been taking from it) - it is a really awesome opportunity that the YMCA has to be able to disciple young leaders and an awesome gift to all those BRLS attendees.
-It is in situations of uncomfort where Jesus challenges you and grows you the most.
Dangit, I had a longer post written up, but it didn't save. Boo technology!
Before this post disappears too, I'm out. :( More later: Teen Bible Study! Can't wait to tell y'all about it and what God brings it.

Listening to: Everything, Tim Hughes.

Monday, June 2, 2008

Hear me, if you're out there, take these words and try to understand.

Being back in Atlanta is weird. I feel so out of touch. Not that anything is out of the ordinary. It's just different from what I am used to at school. Weirdly, I am "home-sick" for College Park. I miss late night talks with my roommates, being busy, class, teaching, the mall, random get-togethers to play games, jamming out to music in my room, small group, cooking, Tuesday night dinners, McLean, carpooling to McLean, etc etc. Hopefully, I can get back into my groove. Soon.

I guess part of my dissatisfaction with life in ATL is just that I feel like I am not living up to what I feel is expected. I've been praying to be a light for Jesus here in Atlanta, and I just am not. It's pretty disappointing - I should be really on fire after that awesome week at camp. But I find myself quiet when I could be shouting the Gospel, not taking the opportunity/willing to speak up. So it's time to step it up and really shine for Him.
I also don't really like the feeling of dissatisfication - it's just very ungrateful/inappreciative with what God has given me.
Dunno if I am making sense, but hopefully, I can get out of this funk. It's only been a couple of days, so I can't be too weird about it.

So onto happier things:
-I had really good frozen yogurt the other day - it's from this awesome place called Yoforia. Look at how delicious that looks. The yogurt blend is citrus-y and you can add fruit (which I did - raspberry, blackberry and blueberry)! There is also a pomegranate flavor, which is awesome. There is green tea and dark chocolate as well, but those don't appeal to me as much. Yes, go go Yoforia!
-Camp kids are cute. I am doing soccer camp - 7-10 year olds; it's fun, but I miss my 5-6 babies. They are more inclined to give hugs and cling to you and just be cute all around. Maybe I will get moved next week.
-Hillsong United's song, "One Thing" is an awesome worship song.

Listening to: The Kingdom, Bethany Dillon

First entry!

SO: My first entry! I am very excited to begin blogging (again; I used to have a livejournal but that is way obsolete). I am thinking it's going to be a boring summer, so I decided to be productive and grace y'all with my Carolisms. So with this being my first entry in my new blog, Megan suggested that I write 10 things that I feel like people should know about me. So here it goes!

1) I try to follow Jesus. Somedays, I feel like I have a clear picture of it, somedays, not so much. But I love Him so much, He saves me from myself everyday.
2) I don't like immediate change, but it is constant and I am so grateful to have been changed.
3) One Tree Hill is the only TV show I watch!
4) I am really excited to become a teacher; I feel called towards and eventually want to teach in inner-city DC. For lots of reasons. I could go on for a long time - maybe I will one of these days.
5) I am a vegetarian and do so for economic/world poverty issues, as well as the meat industry not being very ethical. Maybe I will go on about this one entry, as well.
6) I love camp! Any type of camp. I've gone to camp for 7 summers of my life (this summer will be 8!), have work at a YMCA day camp for 3 years and have gone to camp with Intervarsity in college for 2 years now.
7) I have the best friends in the world. Seriously.
8) I looove music - if you really want to stalk me, here is my music profile. I am especially partial to Hillsong United.
9) My worst fear is rejection... From anything. Being told I am not good enough.
10) I want to live in love with my Savior.

Listening to: Worlds Apart, Jars of Clay